Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Using Emotions as You Negotiate
by Roger Fisher & Daniel Shapiro

Beyond Reason offers straightforward, powerful advice for dealing with emotions in even your toughest negotiations, whether with a difficult colleague or your angry spouse. You will discover five “core concerns” that lie at the heart of most emotional challenges.

The advice builds on previous work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, the group that brought you the groundbreaking Getting to Yes. World-renowned negotiator Roger Fisher teams with psychologist Daniel Shapiro, an expert on the emotional dimension of negotiation, to bring you this indispensable new classic.

Why You Need This Book
This book will help you discover how to use emotions to turn a disagreement, big or small, professional or personal, into an opportunity for mutual gain.

Emotions Can be Obstacles to Negotiations
None of us is spared the reality of emotions. What makes emotions so troubling?

They can divert attention from substantive matters. Strong emotions can overshadow your thinking, leaving you at risk of damaging your relationship.

Careful observers of your emotional reaction may learn how much you value proposals, issues, and your relationship with them. In an international or everyday negotiation, positive emotions can be essential.

Positive emotions can make it easier to meet substantive interests. With positive emotions, you are motivated to do more.

Positive emotions need not increase your risk of being exploited. Avoid inhibiting positive emotions; rather, check with your head and your gut before making decisions.

Address the Concern, Not the Emotion
Rather than trying to deal directly with scores of changing emotions affecting you and others, you can turn your attention to five core concerns: appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and role.

If you have time, you can also use them as a lens to understand which concern is unmet and to tailor your actions to address the unmet concern.

A negotiation that involves multiple parties and high stakes requires an advanced understanding of the five core concerns.

Express Appreciation
Appreciation is a core concern. You can appreciate by:

1. Understanding a person’s point of view.
2. Communicating your understanding through words or actions.

Build Affiliation
With enhanced affiliation, working together becomes easier and more productive.

Personal connections. By talking about personal matters, you can reduce the personal distance between you.

Acknowledge Status
With a little self-preparation, you can identify your areas of high social and particular status and work to improve or develop new ones so that you can approach your negotiations with a sense of confidence.

Since every person has multiple areas of high status, there is no need to compete with others over status. In turn, you can acknowledge the status of others without cost.

Choose a Fulfilling Role
You are free to expand the activities within your conventional role. Time and again, you also are free to choose temporary roles that empower you and foster joint work.

Reshaping your role can take effort. Over time, you can modify your role to your liking.

Soothe Yourself: Cool Down Your Emotional Temperature
Pause. During the break, relax. Think about how to move the negotiation forward.

Preparation improves the emotional climate of a negotiation. A well-prepared negotiator walks into a meeting with emotional confidence about the substantive and process issues, as well as with clarity about how to enlist each party’s positive emotions.

Establishing a routine structure of preparation. You want to prepare in terms of the process of the negotiation, the substantive issues, and the emotions of each party.

Learning from past negotiations. Experience is of little future value unless you learn from it. After a negotiation, review the interaction in terms of process, substance, and emotions.

We all have emotions all the time. Most negotiators treat emotions as an obstacle to clear, rational thought. As a result, we do not realize the opportunity afforded by positive emotions. Using the core concerns wisely will improve the quality of your relationships at work and at home. You can turn a negotiation from a stressful, worrisome interaction into a side-by-side dialogue where each of you listens, learns, and respects the other.

You improve your outcome.

And instead of inspiring resentment, the process inspires hope.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Preventing Heart Disease with Optimal Nutrition

The evidence is mounting that the real solution to heart disease is eliminating all refined, processed foods, limiting the sources of free radicals in our diet and lifestyle, and increasing the amounts of antioxidant nutrients we consume.

The B Complex. If you fail to consume optimal amounts of B complex vitamins, an artery-damaging amino acid known as homocysteine can form in your blood.

Vitamin B6. Vitamin B6 in particular has many mechanisms by which it prevents heart disease. B6 is necessary for normal collagen metabolism and for maintaining the integrity of the vascular wall.

Beta-Carotene. Beta-carotene is the orange-yellow pigment found in fruits and vegetables. It plays a very important role in the prevention of heart and artery disease. It is found in significant amounts in carrots, sweet potatoes, yellow and orange peppers, apricots, and leafy green vegetables.

Vitamin C. Vitamin C plays such a valuable role in preventing heart disease that Linus Pauling described heart disease as an early stage of scurvy. Only Vitamin C can completely prevent the oxidation of cholesterol from occurring.

Vitamin E. A recent study conducted by the World Health Organization concluded that inadequate vitamin E consumption is the single biggest risk factor for heart disease. Not only does Vitamin E keep cholesterol from sticking to artery walls, but it also lowers cholesterol levels as well.

Magnesium. Magnesium is the most important mineral for heart health. The heart uses calcium to contract and needs magnesium to relax.

Trace Minerals. Selenium and chromium are two trace minerals needed in small, regular amounts for heat disease prevention.

Nuts. There are many studies that show nuts are a valuable source of nutrients that help the body metabolize cholesterol effectively.

Fruits and Vegetables. Fresh produce, while a good source of vitamins and some minerals, may be most valuable as a source of group of nonvitamin antioxidant compounds known as bioflavonoids and polyphenols. These substances powerfully protect against cholesterol oxidation.

Spices. Foods such as capsicum (red or cayenne pepper), garlic, ginger, turmeric, and a wide variety of other species have been found to lower cholesterol, nourish the heart, thin the blood, and prevent cholesterol oxidation.

Sunlight. Some patients have seen dramatic lowering of cholesterol levels – as much as one hundred points – after only four days of sunlight treatment.
Avoid excess iron. High levels of iron in the body can promote free radicals that will in turn oxidize cholesterol.

Avoid excess Vitamin D. There is concern that excessive Vitamin D from fortified dairy and cereal products, combined with the widespread magnesium deficiency in America, may increase the rate at which plaque is laid down in arteries.

Xanthine Oxidase. This is an enzyme in cow’s milk that may cause significant damage to arteries. Commercial skim milk is free of xanthine oxidase.

Avoid sugar. Sugar raises cholesterol, triglycerides, and insulin, and increases the stickiness of platelets. High insulin levels make cholesterol more likely to stick to artery walls.

BestSummaries.com is a book summary service that provides summaries of top self-help, motivational and inspirational books where you can learn--in minutes-- what it takes to live life and live it well. BestSummaries sends out one book summary every week in PDF, PDA, audio and/or print formats. For more information, please go to http://www.bestsum.com

Monday, March 2, 2009

A Relaxing Mind and Body

Every once in a while, you need to ‘shut off.’ Not to have to think about working, shopping, ironing, bills, relationships, gardening, families, deadlines, children, parents, what’s right and what’s wrong. If you instinctively fell you’d like to do this – you’re right. Your mind and body is telling you that it wants a break, and if you’re being sensible, you’ll heed the request.

Your body is remarkable in the way as it keeps going, despite the fact you may not always feed it or rest it properly. It’s the same with your mind – it carries on regardless. But stress is cumulative.

When young, most of us can cope with much emotional and physical pressure. Other factors will influence how well we cope, of course, including how we see others around us coping, our diet, and the amount of exercise we take and so on. But often as we go through life, our ability to deal with stress lessens. We may not have dealt with earlier problems and challenges either, which means that new pressures are piled on top of the old ones, and so the pressures grow.

It’s clear that we all need a break from everyday life – both physically and emotionally. Imagine you’re like a volcano. At the bottom lie the unresolved problems you’ve battled with throughout your life – lack of self-esteem and confidence; regret over losing a loved one to someone else, problems in childhood, bitterness, perhaps, that seemingly less deserving people have had better luck in their life.

The middle layer may be the challenges you’re facing on a day-to-day basis – money concerns, unsatisfying relationships, ageing parents in failing health, housing problems or similar. You’ll see then that it doesn’t take too much to cause the small top layer of your ‘volcano’ to erupt, when something relatively minor happens – such as a dog getting under your feet or a partner or child asking you for some extra money.

If you don’t resolve the underlying issues these relatively unimportant things will cause you to flare up and erupt almost constantly. It’s essential therefore to give yourself a gift of time. Time to consider and resolve issues that may have held you back in the past and created unnecessary pressures in your life. It is possible to take time out of your normal routine. It may mean asking for help and take much organizing – ringing around, writing and networking, but you can do it.

As with so many things in life, however, balance is the key. It doesn’t matter how well you’re performing, how good you’re feeling, you must learn to recognize when enough is enough. Even healthy pressure can escalate into excessive pressure if it goes on for too long or added demands are placed upon you. When this happens you may well end up in an impossible struggle between what you think you can do and what is realistically possible.

If you’re thinking, ‘This isn’t me. I know when I’m doing too much,’ don’t get complacent. Most people push themselves too hard at some time or another whilst believing they’re still managing as well as they has always done.

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